Evidently, the global financial system is scheduled to melt down this weekend and we (On The Fly) would prefer not to take any of the blame. No, we didn't engage in any subprime loans. Nor did we bundle loans into questionable securities and sell them to investors. Actually, we haven't done anything other than provide our customers with the accoutrements they need to live the good life. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and since John McCain is suspending his Presidential campaign until a bailout plan is passed, On The Fly is suspending all suspender sales until a bailout plan is passed. 

After all, It's a Global Market, and the problems that started in subprime loans have caused a Chain Reaction that has Wall Street feeling very High Strung. While many analysts predicted the economy would Take a Dip, few expected these assets to have taken a Shave and a Haircut like they have, and I-bankers used to riding high are now on Full Tilt. It's Third and Long now and the Sands of Time are running out. The View from the Top looks scary, as leadership appears to be an Endangered Species. If we don't resolve this crisis soon, you may want to spend your next Holiday Abroad.

Country First -- if you don't believe us, just try to order a ton of suspenders. We won't ship them to you (unless we do by accident in which case, Thank you for your business!)

And to those looking to make a few extra bucks in this economy, we have a $50 gift certificate to any reader that writes the most creative yet relevant use of any pair of Limited Edition braces not mentioned in this blog entry. Now, that's change you can believe in.

On The Fly is significantly increasing its revenue projections for 2009 on the assumption that a sequel to the movie "Wall Street" will drive sales of contrast-collar shirts and suspenders to all-time highs. It just may be the event that propels the company into the venerable Fortune 500.

A customer/blog critic/former roommate-of-mine directed me to a New York Times story I missed back in May announcing that Fox movie executives reached an agreement with Edward Pressman, producer of the original movie, and Michael Douglas, who won an Oscar for his role as Gordon Gekko.

Only a few details are known about the plot of the sequel, to be named "Money Never Sleeps" which was a Gekko mantra in the first film (certainly not remembered as well as the best-known mantra: Greed is Good). Mr. Pressman confirms that Gordon Gekko went to jail for his deeds, and will now "resume his machinations on a global scale in the hedge-fund era". Apparently, Messrs. Pressman & Douglas tried to get Oliver Stone to direct the sequel, but he has passed.

If greed is indeed good, On The Fly, with a healthy assortment of contrast-collar shirts and braces, is well-positioned to capitalize on the film. As Pressman explained to the NYT, "If you weren’t wearing suspenders before ‘Wall Street,’ you were certainly wearing them after."

God Bless America.