When he kept his hair clipped short, Sasha Vujacic reminded me a little of Adam Sandler.

But now that the fourth-year Lakers guard sports this sweaty, flyaway Euro-mop, it makes me think he needs to make an appointment with Zohan.

Granted, Vujacic isn't the only baller spraying NBA courts with the oily oog of his lawn-sprinkler hairdo. Thankfully, the 2008 playoffs have witnessed the elimination, round by round, of the worst of the offending sweathogs: the Houston Rockets' Luis Scola was ousted first, followed by San Antonio Spurs greaser Fabricio Oberto.

With any luck, the handsomely well-groomed Boston Celtics will make short work of L.A., having taken a 2-0 lead in the finals heading into their three-game stretch in SoCal. Maybe summertime will put Vujacic in the mood to mow, as it did two offseasons ago with both Steve Nash and Manu Ginobili.

Then, is it too much to hope that a shorn and shaven Slovenian Laker might influence his Spanish teammate?

With their sweaty locks plastered to their zombie-white skin, Pau Gasol, Vujacic and their unkempt NBA brethern (notably Dirk Nowtizki and Andrew Bogut) could populate the league's first expansion team of shaggy internationals. We could call them the Grima Wormtongues.

 The recent news of Maria Sharapova's endorsement deal with Tiffany's begged TCL to wax nostalgic for the bygone days of the tennis diva.

We love the flapper-inspired Nike number Sharapova's wearing at Roland Garros. The color is gorgeous and the drop-waist cut flattering. Even better, Tiffany's accessorized this "Paris dress" with pearl buttons that fasten in back. The look recalls tennis' first divas, Suzanne Lenglen and Helen Wills. Should Sharapova eschew her usual sex-appeal-killing visor for a Wills-like cloche, we would be forever in her thrall.

That got us thinking about the dearth of divas now on tour. So what that Sharapova will sport a pair of Elsa Peretti-designed earrings that cost $1,150? Remember Serena Williams' $40,000 diamond chandelier earrings? And her "tennis earrings," also a cool forty thou? By comparison, Sharapova's "Wave" earrings are a ratty raccoon stole to Serena's full-length mink.

And why was the reigning Australian Open champ the only diva showcasing her wardrobe this season? We pine for the days when the Williams sisters held separate press conferences for their clothes. We miss Martina Hingis, the Joan Collins of tennis divas. We miss her doubles partner and co-conspiradivator Anna Kournikova. We sigh for the golden days -- before Venus got her AARP card and Serena began shopping at Lane Bryant.

A few players aspire to divahood, but please. Ashley Harkleroad might be a cutie, but her appearance in an upcoming Playboy doesn't qualify her for Miss Thing status. Instead, as with Amanda Beard's decision to bear all for Hef, it smacks of a last, desperate grasp at fame and fortune. Jelena Jankovic has been shopping like a diva, but she lacks two essentials. First, she has to win -- and win a lot. Then, well,  ... here, see for yourself. No one else is even close.

Sharapova has the right qualifications, especially if she completes a career Grand Slam next week by winning the French Open. Too bad it's the wrong time.

To be a prima donna in women's tennis, you've gotta have other prima donnas whom you toil to set yourself apart from. Otherwise, your $1,050 earrings don't look a whole lot different than everyone else's Claire's purchase.

New York Rangers winger Sean Avery made his first public appearance Tuesday night in his role as Vogue's trophy intern, escorting Vera Wang for the Fragrance Foundation's 36th Annual Fifi Awards.

Wang received a Hall of Fame award, for which Intern Sean introduced her.

That may explain why he raided Tony Romo's closet for this don't-notice-me black-and-white snoozer of a suit: As all good interns do, Avery was deflecting attention so as to help the star shine.

Hmm. Hard to believe from the NHL's most conspicuous pain in the derrière, the guilty party in the pointedly named "Nitwit Rule," which bars players from distracting their opponents by acting like complete buttheads. And a guy who'll do and say anything to get attention, even if it means spewing racial slurs and picking on cancer patients.

Avery claims hockey bores him and insists he wants to become the editor of a fashion magazine, like his boss for the summer, Anna Wintour. So, okay, we've seen his metrosexual side, and know his habit of clutching the elbows of celebrity fashion plates.

But dressing like a pallbearer? Wearing so much pancake makeup that he might be mistaken for the corpse?

Could it be that Sean "Super Pest" Avery is finally taking one for the team?