I'm sick: 

We had a customer in the store yesterday who had argued in front of the Supreme Court back in the 1970's. As one who loves to debate, it took me back to a time in my life when I was sure I would become a lawyer. That idea was quickly killed once I realized that not every day as an attorney resembles "A Few Good Men". 

Last night I had a vivid dream. One of our best customers, who happens to be a partner at a high-powered law firm, had a case go in front of the Supreme Court, and he kept an extra chair at the table for me. Our team was impeccably dressed from head to toe: a three-piece suit or two, understated cufflinks, a pocket watch as an homage to Atticus Finch.

I was just a fly on the wall until Justice Scalia noticed that I hadn't said a word during oral arguments, and condescendingly asked if I had anything to say for myself, to which I responded: "I'm just the haberdasher."

And then I woke up. I wonder what it means...

A tale of two attitudes: 

9:30am, 30 minutes before the store opens, about 3 weeks ago. I'm at a desk in the front of the store doing work, but forgot to re-lock one of the doors. A customer barged in, not checking the store hours, which was not his fault since the door was unlocked. Walked straight to the belt rack without acknowledging my existence, even though I greeted him. Found his waist size on the rack, looked at some prices which were $65-$95, and started to walk briskly for the exit. I asked if he needed help with a belt to which he said, "Not for $65", and stormed out.

2pm today. Customer looks over belts at the belt rack, and turns to head out. I asked if he needed any help, and he said, "Well, I had to come to the City to drop my wife off at an appointment and I forgot to wear a belt. I have a bunch of belts at home, but I can't stand my jeans falling." I found the Martin Dingman Matt Belt in his size, which sells for $65 and is great for jeans. I asked, "Would you give me $45 for this?" His eyes lit up, and he bought the belt. I would bet $45 is slightly more than he wanted to pay, but he recognized I was trying to help him out, and it was a good deal, and we turned a belt, so everyone won.

What the customer today didn't know is that immediately after the first interaction, I began thinking: what should I have said to him? Should we keep a ball of twine in the store for customers that don't want a reasonably priced, all-leather, made-in-the-USA belt? Maybe duct tape? In my head, I settled on, "I'd have sold it to you for less if you treated me like a human being." And the reality is, I would have. I'm sure he probably thought I was an underpaid, under-educated retail cashier, but that is only half-true. If he'd have told me a story, he'd have walked out a happy customer. 

• Apple Tablet announcement¹ 
  
• On The Fly email announcing Sale discount increased to 50% off Fall merchandise
  
• SOTU
• Dinner & Cigars at very exclusive Club that would never have me as a member²

1. If Apple ever wanted to make it up to people that bought an Apple TV, they'd livestream their events to owners through the device. Otherwise...most. expensive. paperweight. ever.
2. No, it's not because I'm Jewish.³
3. Yes, it is. Regardless, I am armed to the teeth: Kiton suit & 7-fold tie, Michael Toschi Vecchia Mano shoes, great-uncle's pocket watch, Davidoff guillotine cutter, S.T. Dupont Limited Edition 007 Lighter in Gunmetal, and Montecristo #2's from an island off the coast of Florida.

At the beginning I looked around, but I could not find the car I was dreaming of. So I decided to build it myself.

- Ferdinand Porsche 

I may be a little late to this, but it appears that Amazon.com had offered Kindles to some of its best book customers with a money-back-but-keep-your-Kindle offer. That's right -- for specific customers: buy a Kindle from Amazon.com by Tuesday and try it for 30 days, and if you don't like it, they will refund you in full and you get to keep the Kindle (which I guess isn't that big of a deal since you don't like it).

Now, I know there are some consumers out there that hate this kind of promotion because it wasn't offered to them, but as my Dad used to say all the time, "Life is not a picnic." Amazon.com can't afford to offer that deal to the entire world, but it's genius to offer it to loyal customers that purchase a lot of books from them but haven't yet ordered a Kindle. I wasn't offered it, but I haven't bought a book from Amazon in 3 years (I most recently bought Guy Kawasaki's The Art of the Start from Barnes & Nobles with a gift card from said Dad).

I've been craving a Kindle for months now, but with Apple introducing their Tablet on Wednesday, and given the sheer joy of my 3-week-old MacBook Pro, I'll wait and see what's coming before committing to an e-Book platform.

A little more on the Amazon.com promotion here although it will probably just make you envious of those that received it.  

-- and make no mistake, I plan to someday -- here are the steps I'd require for the standard haircut:

1. Cut Hair:  obviously, this has to be good or nothing else matters. But let's assume it's an above-average haircut; then, IMHO, everything below makes it extraordinary.
   
2. Shampoo:  the scalp massaging part of the shampoo process is what big tips are made of.
   
3. Back-o'-the-Neck Shave:  using the clippers is not the same as using a straight razor to clean up the back of the neck.
   
4. Quick Eyebrow Maintenance:  if you don't appreciate this, you either naturally grow perfect eyebrows, or you are completely unaware of how bad your brows probably look. My favorite barber always spends 90 seconds making sure my eyebrows are under control.
   
5. Neck & Shoulder Massage:  I've had several barbers that have machines that give really good, brief shoulder massages. Most don't do it, but I think of it as the cool-down after a good workout.
   
6. Totally Gratuitous Touch-Up:  the barber that cut my hair this morning seemingly finished my cut, shaved clean the back of my neck, and then proceeded to grab the scissors again and clip away just a few stray hairs. Hopefully, they really were stray hairs and he was a perfectionist; but even if he wasn't, I bought into the illusion of his meticulous attention to detail.
   
7. Thorough Brush-Off: no matter how tight the tissue & cape are fastened, hair finds its way on to you: in your ears, on the collar or back of your shirt. I always appreciate the barber that takes a small broom-like brush or a leaf blower to my shoulders to whisk away pesky hairs. Powder optional.
   

I've had barbers that have done most of those things, but never one to rule over them all. A boy can dream...